Hysteria?

•April 13, 2007 • Leave a Comment

Hysteria?

hysteria?

Suffocation, trauma, craze, fear, neuroticness, emotional distress – all indications of hysteria.  Classified from a series of signs, hysteria has come to define the behavior of women immensely in Los Angeles. Many works depict this nature of women, yet leaving room for “self-reflexive exploration”, such as Tara Ison’s Cactus and Todd Haynes’s film SAFE.  Though both approach the matter through different perspectives, they both convey the concept of hysteria in women.

            Fixated upon closed walls any “normal” person would most likely develop psychological and/or physical problems. This gushes through the works of Ison and Hayne.  Carol, the central focus of Haynes film, portrays the typical housewife.  Not wishing to remain useless, Carol searches to fill up her time in redecoration, gardening, and housekeeping – a common factor in most housewives.  Carol carries out these “hobbies” in order to sense significance, since she feels unimportant.  While in her car, she listens to a Christian radio station, and noticing the dangers around, such as the smog from a truck in front of her, she displays of paroxysm and exaggerated lack of air.  Through her behavior around her husband she exhibits an eminent insecurity of herself. During the length of the film, she reveals that whenever she feels alone, isolated, or excluded she will suffer attacks, progressively worsening.  Eventually, she seeks answers from a doctor, psychologist, and a group proclaiming a “chemical-free environment.” Ultimately, her condition heightens and leads to her destruction.

            However, Ison illustrates a more likely Angelino woman and her dilemmas.  Holly states her comfort zone – her house – because all the essentials present themselves there. In fact, she states that she can “plant [herself] safely” in her house.  Holly protests on going outside because the “vastness” makes her feel “aimless and lost.” Hitherto, she fears being unattended and feeling unimportant. In fact she reinforces her fright of insignificance when she proclaims, “I realized it was [Josh’s] horizon that worried me; his was getting too big and far away for me to be more than a speck in it” (Ison 121).  Yet, she experiences relief when she realizes that Josh needs her and felt her necessity for him when she “breathe in the having him to hold on to, what always made me feel found and unbound, blessed…I lived on, drank from, him…without him I would shrivel up to a small, withered, petty thing, and die” (Ison 128).

            The two females, Carol and Holly, possess various attributes that make them related to each other. Primarily, they encompass the fear of feeling rather small and unimportant.  Consequently, they strive to do anything in their power to feel lofty or maybe even just noticed. In Carol’s case trying out new things and Holly’s battle to pull Josh closer to her. Secondarily, they both depend on someone else to change their sense of insecurity and give them significance. Carol chooses to unearth this in her friends and family, but does not prevail.  Holly, on the other hand searches deep within her boyfriend, succeeds temporarily, but ultimately looses this security, too.

            However, the roots of these problems differ in Carol and Holly.  Carol’s problem arise from the fact that her marriage is fallen apart because a time lacks when she and her husband could be intimate and honest with each other.  Therefore, she hunts for ways for her husband to succumb to her, but in the end just ends up hurting herself. In addition, she cannot adjust to the Angelino lifestyle, because in Texas things were different. Holly, on the other hand, traces her quandary to her childhood because she states that her “parents were always off being very busy, always leaving [her] to go off by themselves” (Ison 132).  

Many Angelinos go through the same situation as Holly, but apparently the long-term effects show up more in women.  Most likely, because women are encaged in the same place most of their time since an early age, the memories are more fresh, and a feeling of insecurity evolves.  Truly, this evolves into the case of Holly, having her parents gone as a child, and as an adult, having her boyfriend leave her for prolonged times. Therefore, her security diminishes as these times alone prolong and they find no replacement for their protection.

Perhaps their insecurity and constant need of someone reassuring them of their significance results in their minds going berserk, after they lose that person. In Holly’s situation the effect of losing her boyfriend, her security, is quite evident.  She consorts to living in a bathtub and making it her “safe” place.  She misses so much the importance she felt in Josh that she resorts to giving herself to the cactus, a replacement of Josh, as she states, “the cactus needs me. It finds me significant, and I embrace it back, hard, to feel its spines enter and become mine” (Ison 134). However, Carol goes bananas because she loses all connections to her world gradually and opts to situate herself in a chemical-free environment to feel the stench of security and significance.

What makes these women hysterical? The fact that they embrace their security and importance as the vital objectives in their lives, leads them to their destruction.  The mentality of these women might be comprehendible, but because of the fleeting quality of their tangible security, they often lose substance of life.

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•February 20, 2007 • Leave a Comment

WOW!!! o.O

•February 15, 2007 • Leave a Comment

Yesterday I went to my Health Science class… it was alright… to bad Rita or Gary did not come… they make me smile…. :p … but anywho… yeah I learned some cool stuff… I was supposed to leave early but I really really had to go (if you know what I mean…LOL) so when I got out everyone else had gone out.. So I saw Ray and I tried to catch up to him and her ran.. ja ja.. so then I get this text message from Robert asking if I was going to get a ride… so since he asked I said “sure why not” so yeah… he said he would be there like in 5mins and it took him 15mins… so I tried to watch Inuyasha on my laptop but something weird happened to the laptop and I couldn’t so I had to play my songs there instead… so I’m waiting and waiting… looking like a fool.. then he finally comes.. and Kity and Nancy are in the car as well… and it was weird.. Kity had a laptop too.. so it was competition.. LMAO… so yeah…. we got to church and everyone was sitting down eating.. so I joined my family… then I went to use the facilities.. and when I came back I talked to my crew… je je… j/k they’re not my crew.. but anywho… yeah… they wanted the notes for “MORE LOVE, MORE POWER” so I went to the keyboard and started writing them down… Then Oscar tells me if I can join him in what he is playing on his guitar… i was thinking in my head, “I can’t I’m doing something else!!! ARGH!,” but I didn’t say anything… so then I join him and I was wondering why this hermana from church was singing super loud and high… and it turns out she got the surprise ticket from the drawing from the women… so it was the youth turn.. so I get one.. and sure enough it was the surprise ticket, and to my surprise, I had to sing.. My mind went totally blank… so then my mom starts singing “El Amor de Dios es Maravilloso” so me being all embarrased of not knowing anything at the time.. start singing it and become more embarrased … but it was sort of fun…. anywho… we did that for the men and the kids… and then we finally had time to practice… Practice was weird… cuz I was supposed to have the notes.. but I didnt’ so then… I somehow figured out how to help Nancy and it sounded awesome.. but then I was getting too carried away so we had to settle on the timing of the song.. and it came out pretty good. . hopefully we do well on Sunday…. anywho…. then Robert gave me a ride back home and it was like 11:30P.M. so I probably ended up sleeping at 12:30AM or 1AM…

So I had to wake up at 5:50AM so that I could get ready.. I think I fell asleep in the restroom… ja ja .. so then I took a shower… got dressed…. and my mom had cooked me breakfast.. it was good… too bad my stomach couldn’t hold much of it down… yeah barf…. -_-”…. so yeah… so then I go for my bus at around 7AM but it still not there so I wait and wait and it turns out to come like at 7:16AM so yeah.. and the bus was crowded like a can of sardines… it was crazed… so I was glad when I got out of my Bus Stop…. so I go like a fool walking up the hill… and then I ran out of air… (like always.. argh!) and go to the locker rooms.. I change… blah blah blah.. and go like a loner fool to my place… so then I go into the class and to my surprise I see only about half the people… oh and I forgot to mention I was thinking of ditching class because I didn’t feel so well… so anywho … he pairs us up.. .and we had to do station 1 on the right side of the room so that was pull-ups… and I’m not good at doing them.. so my partner helped me out immensely.. and then we did the thing next to it and so on… when we switched from the side of the room I was so sore.. I was sore because this time I did it correctly with the help of my partner… so yeah we did the other side of the room and it was Poochy… ja ja…. so then we were dismissed.. I changed and since I hadn’t done my homework for Music I tried to do it… but I couldn’t because I was all shaky and stuff… oh and I also started to talk to Jesse and stuff.. so yeah… so I go to my class. and get there like at 9:45AM but the class hadn’t started so I began to do my homework.. Mrs. Brown goes and checks my homework, ask for my glasses, and lets me finish my homework… it was great.. then we did the clapping thing… and I was out of it so when it came to my turn I messed up but then I caught the tempo… so then we learned sharps and flats… and did the quiz… so I finished early and asked for the keys to the practice room… I got inspired and started playing crazy music.. it was sick nasty.. ja ja.. so then I went to my bus stop… and on the way I saw Johny and Toy but Johny had earphones so he couldn’t hear me so I finally got his attention.. .and yeah.. then I went to my bus stop.. it was boring like hell… so like a fool, I started to drum stuff out… humm.. whistle, and even sing.. .ja ja.. then I got in the bus… I fell asleep on the bus ride.. then when I got off I almost fell.. ja ja… so I go to my house and then I see that it is dirty in the street so I deduct that the barredora has not come yet… and so I eat since my mom left me something there… and then when someone parks his car I go like a burro and park my car in the front too… but to my shock.. the barredora shows up.. so I take it to the back.. chill out.. then try to park it… and then I do park it.. I go back inside and then BAM!!!! i’m at the computer.. ja ja… and now I’m off to go pick up my little brother Panchito.. ja ja… WOW!!! o.O that’s a handfull!!! :p

I think I made it through ^.^

•February 12, 2007 • 1 Comment

I just got through the second week of college!!!

The first week was awesome. xD

For my Health Class I met some really cool people and got to talk to them. Also, the lecture was pretty interesting, though it was really a review from Biology class. Oh, and the most amazing part of it was that I got out early. I got out at 7:30PM so I got to catch a ride on the bus. Oh yeah… I almost forgot… I met this girl named Sindy Contreras from the bus and we talked and I took her to her class and we took our ID pictures and stuff… it was fun… too bad I haven’t seen her lately…

-_-”

Well for my second day I had to go early, it was a real pain.. ja ja..
it was worth it though, I learned some new stuff about music and I got to listen to some tight beats from the movie STOMPoutLOUD!!!

My third day it was Health Science again… and the teacher came in super late… and again we got to talk to each other.. Rita asked me if I skated… and me being a dumbass…. I said, “No, but I’ve been ice skating once! *laughs*” …. then I realized that I was wearing the typical attire of a skater…. and I was like “oh…. I have my board.. I just haven’t had time to learn how to skate *smirks*”… so yeah.. oh and for the class everything got messed up… but it was fun.. then we had to color… the topic was “YOU ARE A FLOWER”… so I drew a dumb flower and other stuff… then to my surprise… we had to show it to everyone and say when the last time it was that we had used crayons… it was funny when someone said a few hours ago.. and then Ramon said… “over 40 years”… we were like “WHOA!!! o.O!”… so yeah… oh and we got out like 30mins earlier so I got to catch the bus.. YAY!!!…. oh and the coffee I drank was awesome!!! it was delicious…

Fourth day…. OMG… can’t believe it… again I have to wake up on the morning… ARGH!!! but oh well… so yeah I go to my music class… it was alright… not as exiting as the previous one.. but it was a’rite…. yup…. what else did I do? umm… umm… oh yeah I went to buy my books for my classes… and OMG… they are expensive… really expensive… well the point is that I wasted like over $200… oh wait the buying of the books that was Tuesday… ja ja!!! so yeah… the rest of the day is a blank to me…

Friday finally came!!! *jumps for joy* … Well on Friday I got to sleep in…. I woke up at 9AM.. wow!! an extra 1hr… YIPEE!!! This day was the day for English 101… -_-”… well I got on the bus and I saw a friend from Elementary.. Adilene… I didn’t want to look like a dork like I always do in the bus… so I waited till our stop.. so I said hi to her and all that other stuff.. we walked and then I think we went to the bookstore.. and then we tried to drop and add a class of mine… but then our classes were almost going to start so I let her go… So I go in like a dumbass to my class…. and then took a seat… I was looking for the professor.. and then this guy comes in and asks “Is this English 101?” and the class answered “YES!” and I saw he put his stuff down… OMG!! I couldn’t believe how short and young looking the teacher looked… well afterward I looked closer and he did look older.. ja ja.. but anywho… yeah.. he took role and stuff. then he made us go outside the hallway and stand in one line… then he said two words and made us go to either side of the hallway to signify our choice… it was hilarious when we got to the part of Gay and Queer because the dudes (including me) did not know where to go… I went to the gay side (happy side).. ja ja… and some dudes were just plain confused… it was hilarious… but anywho we went back to class